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Trauma happened to you, not because of you.


Trauma is an emotional response to frightening or dangerous events that holds on sometimes long after the danger has passed. It's not deserved. It's not "your own fault" or "a lesson to be learned." It's an abnormal event that reshaped what might have been a peaceful or happy life. Trauma can show up as blank spots in your memory, or blank years. It can manifest as feelings of shame about yourself or thinking that you are fundamentally broken because of how you were treated. You don't feel like your relationships reflect the work you put into them. Or perhaps you break away from relationships, not understanding why anyone would love you.  Trauma doesn't look the same for everyone but, man, it shows up. 

A trauma response is a *normal* response to an abnormal situation. It's not a flaw. It's not being "too much." It's not because you're "not enough." It doesn't arise because you  are weak. It's how your brain tried to keep you safe in unsafe situations. Lacking a supportive and consistent adult in your young life, your brain grew in ways to adapt to how you were treated. It's okay to have trauma in your history or in your right-now.

​Emotions can be painful, but they are absolutely normal and having them, even if they are very big, is the human condition. Not a flaw. Not a break. Not a weakness. Just human.


​Those of us who hold trauma in our brains and bodies experience layers of pain. What you remember hurts. What you don't remember is almost worse. You don't trust that others have good intentions towards you and don't know how to react if they do. You feel hypervigilant because it hasn't always been safe for you in your life. Perhaps traditional 10-session talk- therapy hasn't worked for you. (It's not meant for you. Your life has been different.) You may not  think therapy will ever work for you. But you are here. You know that you deserve better than you are experiencing. I can't take away your past, but I can help you accept it instead of hiding from it. Living becomes easier when you accept yourself. I'm delighted that you are here.

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