Grief and Healing in Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)
Grief is often thought of as something that happens when we lose a loved one, but for those healing from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), grief can be so much more. In fact, grief plays an important role in the healing process because it helps us acknowledge and heal from the many losses that trauma brings. These losses might not always be visible to others, but they are just as real—and processing them is essential for moving forward in a healthy, empowered way.
Types of Grief in CPTSD
Trauma can leave us grieving many different things, not just the obvious losses. Here are a few types of grief that can be connected to CPTSD:
How Grief Connects to Healing in CPTSD
Grieving is an essential part of the healing process for CPTSD, even though it can feel painful. But as difficult as grief is, it also leads to healing. Here’s how grief can help:
Addressing Grief in Therapy for CPTSD
Working through grief in CPTSD requires patience, compassion, and a gentle approach. Therapy can help you process grief in ways that feel safe and manageable. Here are a few ways we might work through grief together:
The Role of Self-Compassion
Grieving the losses of CPTSD requires deep self-compassion. It’s common to struggle with feeling unworthy of mourning, especially when you’ve been taught to push your feelings aside. But grief is a natural, healthy response to loss—and it’s a vital step in your healing journey. By showing yourself kindness and permission to grieve, you can embrace your pain without judgment, allowing healing to take root.
Please call 917-336-4467 or schedule below if you are interested in a free consultation.
Grief is often thought of as something that happens when we lose a loved one, but for those healing from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), grief can be so much more. In fact, grief plays an important role in the healing process because it helps us acknowledge and heal from the many losses that trauma brings. These losses might not always be visible to others, but they are just as real—and processing them is essential for moving forward in a healthy, empowered way.
Types of Grief in CPTSD
Trauma can leave us grieving many different things, not just the obvious losses. Here are a few types of grief that can be connected to CPTSD:
- Grief for Lost Innocence or ChildhoodIf you experienced trauma in childhood—whether it was abuse, neglect, or something else—you may grieve the childhood you never had. This grief can come from realizing that your early years, which should have been filled with love, safety, and care, were instead marked by pain and fear. It’s natural to mourn the loss of innocence and the basic security every child deserves.
- Grief for Lost Opportunities or Potential: Trauma often disrupts our opportunities to grow, learn, and thrive. Whether trauma impacted your education, career, relationships, or personal development, you might grieve the person you could have been—the potential you lost because you didn’t get the chance to grow in a safe, supportive environment. This type of grief is about wishing for the future that was taken from you.
- Grief for Relationships: When trauma comes from relationships—whether from abusive or neglectful parents, partners, or other important figures—you may mourn the love and trust that should have been there. You might grieve the safe, healthy relationships you never had the chance to experience, or feel sorrow over the loss of trust in others because of betrayal or harm.
- Grief for Lost Sense of Self: Trauma can also change how we see ourselves. You might grieve the person you were before the trauma, or the person you could have been had trauma never shaped your sense of identity. Feelings of shame or self-blame often make this grief harder to process, but acknowledging it is an important step toward healing.
- Ambiguous and Disenfranchised Grief: Some of the grief you experience may feel unclear or difficult to explain. Ambiguous grief is the mourning of things that aren’t always recognized or validated by others, like the loss of safety, control, or stability. This type of grief is often disenfranchised—it’s not widely understood or acknowledged, which can make you feel even more isolated in your experience. But it’s real, and it’s worth grieving.
How Grief Connects to Healing in CPTSD
Grieving is an essential part of the healing process for CPTSD, even though it can feel painful. But as difficult as grief is, it also leads to healing. Here’s how grief can help:
- Grief as a Path to Acceptance: Acknowledging and mourning your losses is an important step toward acceptance. Grief can help you face the reality that some things can’t be changed or undone—like the childhood you didn’t have or the opportunities that were lost. Accepting these losses doesn’t mean giving up hope. Instead, it creates the space for healing, growth, and peace in the present.
- Grief Helps Release Anger and Shame: Grief provides an opportunity to process the anger, shame, and guilt that trauma often brings. You may feel anger toward those who hurt you or even toward your younger self for not being able to protect yourself. Grieving these losses allows you to release those heavy emotions, replacing them with self-compassion and understanding.
- Creating Space for New Growth: Mourning what you’ve lost can actually create space for new growth. As you process your grief, you might find yourself more open to new experiences, relationships, and ways of living. While you’ll never forget the trauma or the losses, you can begin to live with them, rather than be trapped by them. Grief can become a transformative experience, opening the door to post-traumatic growth—where meaning, strength, and purpose emerge from the pain.
Addressing Grief in Therapy for CPTSD
Working through grief in CPTSD requires patience, compassion, and a gentle approach. Therapy can help you process grief in ways that feel safe and manageable. Here are a few ways we might work through grief together:
- Somatic Therapies: Since grief is often held in the body, somatic therapies can help release the physical tension and pain that comes with loss. Grounding techniques and mindfulness exercises allow you to process grief while staying connected to your body, which can be especially helpful when grief feels overwhelming or uncontainable.
- Parts Work: Sometimes, grief can feel fragmented or locked away in different parts of yourself. Parts work can help you access and process those parts of you that are grieving—whether it’s your younger self or a part of you that’s been disconnected from the pain. This approach allows you to grieve safely and in a way that respects your emotional boundaries.
- Rituals and Symbolic Gestures: Sometimes, engaging in rituals or symbolic acts of mourning can be an important part of grieving. Whether it’s writing a letter to someone you’ve lost, creating a memorial, or lighting a candle, these acts can provide closure and a sense of release. Together, we’ll find the right rituals for you when you’re ready.
The Role of Self-Compassion
Grieving the losses of CPTSD requires deep self-compassion. It’s common to struggle with feeling unworthy of mourning, especially when you’ve been taught to push your feelings aside. But grief is a natural, healthy response to loss—and it’s a vital step in your healing journey. By showing yourself kindness and permission to grieve, you can embrace your pain without judgment, allowing healing to take root.
Please call 917-336-4467 or schedule below if you are interested in a free consultation.