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We don't know how to do this either.

11/17/2025

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You don’t know how to do this.
 
We don’t either.
 
In the frightening and quickly changing environment in which we are trying to not just live but thrive, we are all learning together. There is no training for this for any of us, clinicians included. Your therapist is here to listen and to help with the tools we have and the wisdom we hold in getting you through the hard moments, but the world? Yeah, we weren’t trained in calming tools for this kind of onslaught of fear and intimidation.

Even if we don’t quite know the perfect way to help you, share your feelings and your fears. We feel it too, and we understand the system overload you are experiencing.

Having prefaced with all of that, I’ll share some of the things that I’m doing to get through the day without collapse.

I am using isometric muscle relaxation exercises to release adrenaline. The most effective exercise for me is pushing the palms of my hands together with extra pressure on the heels of my hands until my arms start to shake, counting to three while I’m in the state of overexertion, then releasing and pulling into the moment of relief.

I’m doing planks. All the time. The physical overwhelm of planking forces your body to rest for a moment after you stop.

I’m doing brief stints of yoga mindfulness. 5 minutes of it works. It doesn’t have to be an hour-long practice, but just enough to pull you into your body and recognize the safety of the very moment. It helps.

I’m talking to everyone who understands about the way I am feeling, allowing all parties to vent and cry if necessary, then enjoy the relief of not feeling alone.

I’m allowing myself to feel  ALL the feelings I’m having, but not all the time. Make space for yourself and your own joy. What brings you peace? What books transport you? What movies make you laugh or scream or cry safely? What TV show is comforting without needing attention? Listen to the album that owns your heart.

How are those trees outside doing? Go ask them. Touch grass, look at the sky. The earth will heal and exist and provide. Find strength where it is and collapse under the beauty of it.

Does any of this take away the dangers of the world? No. But we cannot hold that danger in our systems all the time.

Think about it, then stop. Stopping is hard but do it anyway.

Limit the time you devote to solving the worlds problems in your head and say out loud how long you will allow yourself to doomscroll. Pet your cat. Play with your dog. Kiss your partner. Hug your friends. And notice when your system is overwhelmed.

Is this the answer? I don’t know. None of us know or feel wise in this moment. The feelings are overwhelming, but they are also appropriate. Keep breathing, friend. Strength in yourself, strength in numbers, strength in hope and love.

We’re still here with you. We are still listening and teaching. And we feel it all too.
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Joanne Mackie, LMHC, CCTPI and CCTPII, CGPS I & II
917-336-4467


I am licensed in the following US jurisdictions:
New York City and New York State
Bergen County, New Jersey and the State of New Jersey
Miami Dade, Florida and the State of Florida 
Greenwich, Connecticut and the State of Connecticut


  • Let's Talk Trauma
    • What is CPTSD
    • Anxiety and Trauma
    • Depression and Trauma
    • Grief and Trauma
    • Anger and Trauma
  • Grief and Loss
    • Pet Bereavement
  • About Me
    • FAQ
    • Therapeutic relationship
  • About You
  • Methods
    • Somatic Therapies
    • Parts Work
  • Contact Therapist
    • Payment
  • Blog
  • Trusted Colleagues