Trauma happened to you, not because of you.

Trauma is a thing that happens to people. It's not deserved. It's not "your own fault" or "a lesson to be learned." It's an abnormal event that reshaped what might have been a peaceful or happy life. Trauma can show up as blank spots in your memory, or blank years. It can manifest as feelings of shame about yourself or thinking that you are fundamentally broken because of how you were treated. You don't feel like your relationships reflect the work you put into them. Or perhaps you break away from relationships, not understanding why anyone would love you.  Trauma doesn't look the same for everyone but, man, it shows up. 

A trauma response is a *normal* response to an abnormal situation. It's not a flaw. It's not being "too much." It's not because you're "not enough." It doesn't arise because you  are weak. It's how your brain tried to keep you safe in unsafe situations. Lacking a supportive and consistent adult in your young life, your brain grew in ways to adapt to how you were treated. It's okay to have trauma in your history or in your right-now.

​Emotions can be painful, but they are absolutely normal and having them, even if they are very big, is the human condition. Not a flaw. Not a break. Not a weakness. Just human.

If you cannot manage them alone, ask for help. Then, accept help. Even if it's hard.

Author

Joanne Mackie, LMHC Certified Clinical Trauma Professional I & II, Certified Grief Professional