Anger is an acceptable emotion. Truly.

Anger can feel like a heavy weight sometimes, like it’s sitting right in your chest, ready to explode—or maybe more like it’s simmering quietly in the background. When you’ve experienced trauma, anger often gets tangled up in ways that are hard to make sense of. It can be overwhelming, confusing, and even scary. But it’s important to know that anger, in and of itself, isn’t bad. It’s part of being human. And if you’ve been through something traumatic, your anger makes sense. It’s a response to something being wrong, unfair, or unsafe.
When you think about anger, you might associate it with a sense of loss of control or even shame. But let’s flip that narrative a bit. Anger is a signal. It’s your mind and body saying, “Something here needs attention.” Maybe it’s telling you that a boundary was crossed, or it’s helping you process grief or fear. For many people who’ve experienced trauma, anger might be one of the first emotions that surfaces because it’s protective—it’s like a shield your brain uses to keep you safe.
At the same time, we can experience a fear of being judged for anger. Maybe you’ve felt like people see anger as “too much” or “unacceptable.” Maybe you’ve been told things like, “Why are you so sensitive?” or “You need to calm down,” when all you were doing was expressing how you felt. It makes sense that we hide our anger, worried we'll be labeled as difficult, irrational, or even dangerous.
This fear of judgment can be especially strong for trauma survivors. You might already feel disconnected or like you have to work harder to be “acceptable” to others. Anger, in this context, can feel like one more thing that makes you vulnerable to rejection or misunderstanding. But here’s the truth: anger isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s a valid emotional response, just like sadness or joy.
Right now, there’s a lot happening in the world that can make anger feel even more present. From systemic injustices to the constant news of crises, it’s not just personal struggles that ignite this emotion--it’s a collective sense of frustration, helplessness, or even outrage. If you’ve felt a spike in anger lately, you’re not alone, and you’re not “overreacting.” Sometimes anger is how our systems cry out for justice.
For trauma survivors, anger can also get complicated by the messages they’ve received. Maybe you were taught to suppress it, to push it down because “good people don’t get angry.” Or maybe you’ve had experiences where expressing anger led to rejection or punishment. When that happens, anger doesn’t just go away. It gets stuck. It might show up in ways you don’t expect—like snapping at loved ones, struggling with sleep, or feeling like you’re carrying around constant tension.
One of the hardest things about dealing with anger is giving yourself permission to feel it without judging it. That’s easier said than done, I know. But anger doesn’t have to control you, and it doesn’t have to burn you out. It’s about figuring out what’s underneath it. Sometimes, it’s pain. Sometimes, it’s fear. And sometimes, it’s a deep desire for things to be different.
Anger is often trying to tell us something important. When you sit with it, when you listen to it, it can guide you toward what matters most to you—whether it’s healing from the past or fighting for a better future. And when you pair that with compassion for yourself, you can start to untangle it, bit by bit.
I just want you to know that it's okay to sometimes not feel okay. It's okay to feel anger. Sit with it, feel it, understand it. Anger has a purpose and it'll tell you what its purpose  is if you give it space to tell you.